One star for OnStar

So we're back on the road again with only a few very short hours of
sleep. Rather than dig out brian's kennel, I decided to give him a
chance to prove he can be trusted sleeping on the bed with me without
causing trouble... Well, he settled down ok but at 7:30 this morning
he heard someone leaving the room next door and bolted upright. In the
process, he kicked me pretty hard in the neck and a torrent of
coughing and choking ensued... No going back to sleep after that!

Anyway, while dad is driving, I thought I'd make a few comments about
the new rig. It's big. It's red. It came with something called OnStar.
It's supposed to envelope my truck in a magic field of goodness with
emergency services, GPS navigation, and even a satelite telephone
using prepaid minutes. The whole thing is voice activated after
pressing a button on the mirror. It all sounds wonderful but the nice
computer lady seems to have trouble understanding English. Perhaps she
was programed in a foreign country and expects me to speak with a
heavy accent. The GPS navigation isn't much more impressive. When you
ask for directions you actually do get a live human being from
somewhere inside the OnStar ship. I suspect these people may not
actually live on earth, though, because they never seem to know much
about the place I'm trying to find. Driving last night I asked to find
any pet friendly hotel near the Florida turnpike... The only
suggestion we got from our human OnStar drone was a motel six almost
30 miles out of the way. After three fairly useless tries, I feel I'd
probably have better luck carrying a copy of the yellow pages with me
everywhere. At this point, I'd say OnStar is OffStar in my book.

Incidentally, dad's driving scares the he'll out of me. It's probably
a good thing I'm distracted typing this blog on my iPhone. He's
already given me heart troubles more than once with his last-second
lane changes to catch a gas station entrance without having to turn
around. Normally, I'd be only a little terrified, but this time we're
hauling what equates to a consumer-level big-rig. Roller coasters fun
but only in theme parks.